Letters That Were Never Given
by bluestring
Summary: A letter misplaced. A letter unwritten. For a son. For a friend. For a lover. Never made. Never sent. Never read.
1. Chapter 1

Thorin,

I've lost a father. I'm losing a brother. I don't want to lose sons.

Come back home.

Please.

\- Dis


	2. Chapter 2

Master Burglar,

I wish I never brought you on our journey. You have stolen the Arkenstone from me, for my own good and I understand why now.

I believe that when we met I told you that you were no more than a grocer. And ever after all that you have done, I still hold on to what I've said.

I was the thief, not you. I have robbed you of a reputation, a good night's sleep, a full belly, an armchair by your fireplace and a future not haunted by ghosts knocking on your front door.

You should've left when you had the chance.

I should've let you go.

Forgive me, I know no more of opening my hands. My grandfather and father has only taught me to close a fist in rage and in greed.

I should've . . .

\- Thorin


	3. Chapter 3

Fili,

I ran . . .

Towards you.

I was too late.

\- Thorin


	4. Chapter 4

Kili,

Your life was always worth more than mine. Take care of uncle and of mother. Tell her I saved you just like I promised.

Just like when we were kids - how I always promised to save you from nightmares, bullies, dragons and orcs.

Be uncle's and mother's savior this time.

I believe in you.

\- Fili


	5. Chapter 5

Ori,

I thought my heart could never feel any heavier when mom left me with you and Nori.

I was mistaken.

It was when you put down your writing tool for an axe.

\- Dori


	6. Chapter 6

Bilbo,

You were a better thief than I expected.

Cheers to you! You didn't only manage to grab the heart of the mountain but also the heart of the king of the mountain.

\- Nori


	7. Chapter 7

Bilbo,

I had hoped to meet the hobbit who made my brother smile once more.

\- Dis


	8. Chapter 8

Dis,

You raised good warriors, fine men and even better rulers.

It was an honor to have known them.

I just wish I would've known them more.

\- Bilbo


	9. Chapter 9

Bifur,

You have gone through the traumatic experience of war.

I'm sorry to have to make you go through it again.

\- Thorin


	10. Chapter 10

Bofur,

Your hat looked better on your head than an armored helmet.

Your voice was meant for tunes, not battle cries.

Your hands, the flute, not a pick axe.

Your face full of mirth, not of anguish.

We're sorry.

\- People who left too early


	11. Chapter 11

Thorin,

What you had was worth all the gold in Erebor.

Why could you not see that?

\- Balin


	12. Chapter 12

Thorin,

My king, my friend, my brother in arms, I would've followed you everywhere, no matter what.

But I couldn't leave the Company alone in mourning.

I will take care of Dis until she joins you in the hall of your fathers.

May you be welcomed on the throne beside Thrain and Thror and the rightful crown be placed upon your head.

You were always meant to be called king.

\- Dwalin


	13. Chapter 13

Oin,

My dear brother, forgive me if I keep your trumpet that aids you in your hearing.

The pain of not hearing our words is less painful than the sound of sorrow.

I would not want to burden you with a pain you cannot heal.

\- Gloin


	14. Chapter 14

Bombur,

You haven't eaten in a while.

We're getting worried.

\- The rest of the Company


	15. Chapter 15

My sister's sons,

You were always stronger than I was. True diamonds mean to be sheltered by Erebor's great halls.

How much must you have loved me to refuse to see the chink in the armor, the cracks in the walls, the lackluster in the jewels?

You would've led my people better than me.

I wish I'd admit it to you sooner.

I wish I gave you the chance.

\- Your uncle Thorin


	16. Chapter 16

Tauriel,

You were always more than a sister to me.

But if loving meant leaving, then I will take it.

Even if I do not want it.

\- Legolas


	17. Chapter 17

Dis,

I couldn't have asked for better heirs.

\- Thorin


	18. Chapter 18

Gloin,

I couldn't have asked for a better dwarf to be part of the Fellowship.

You have raised a son I would've been proud to call mine.

\- Thorin


	19. Chapter 19

Fili and Kili,

You were the bothers I never had.

Nori was too busy robbing. Dori, too busy with Nori. They were only borhters by blood and by label. But I never felt like they really were my brothers.

Kili, when I showed you my slingshot, the gloeam in your eyes were undescribable. You were so proud of me- even if my weapon was not worthy of praise from any dwarf. I wish more dwarves were like you. Maybe then dwarves would have more warriors defending their homeland.

Fili, when you stood up for me when bigger dwarves bullied me and when you'd sit down to learn Khuzdul from me, I new that you'd grow up to not only be a great king but a great father and uncle. I wish kings would emulate you. Maybe then, we wouldn't have to live in the Blue Mountains.

I will write stories of you and tell them to my children and my children's children. I'd tell everyone to add music to the poems where you're the heroes. And they'd sing it during every celebration.

You will never be forgotten as long as I live and even after that.

You weren't only my heroes, my inspiration and my friends.

You were my family.

\- Ori


	20. Chapter 20

Balin,

I saw it too late.

\- Thorin


	21. Chapter 21

Thorin,

My tongue cannot speak the common language for I have been scarred by battle too hard, too long ago.

I have been carrying the consequence of war on my shoulders - numb to the pain.

I don't think the company can carry the burden brought by battle.

Please don't let them.

\- Bifur


	22. Chapter 22

Legolas,

Learn that when I said that I disliked Thorin, it was out of greed. He and his kin did not deserve what happened to them.

Do not make the same mistakes that I did.

\- Thranduil


	23. Chapter 23

Legolas,

I did not leave you for someone better.

I left someone better for you.

Just wait.

\- Tauriel


	24. Chapter 24

Uncle Bilbo,

Who's picture is this rolled with the map to Erebor? Was he your friend? Was he something more?

Can we visit him someday?

\- Frodo


	25. Chapter 25

Legolas,

Take care of Tauriel for me.

I did not mean to break her.

Most of all, I did not mean to break her heart.

\- Kili


	26. Chapter 26

Sons of Durin,

Never have I learned to value the life of those beyond my king.

Until we lost you in the battle.

\- Thranduil


	27. Chapter 27

Dwalin,

Tea time is at 4. I'll be making those cookies you ate at my home the night you all arrived.

The night when you decided not to kill me for being unprepared for guests.

Don't bother knocking.

-Bilbo


	28. Chapter 28

Azog,

My uncle lost his mind because of you.

But I wish you no ill will.

For today, my uncle will finally re-unite with his friends and be happy.

Something of which you will never experience, even part your lifetime.

I pity you.

\- Frodo


	29. Chapter 29

My dear husband,

You never had the chance to take care of your sons.

Now you do.

\- Dis


	30. Chapter 30

Dis,

Our boys are doing well. You should be proud of them.

They have fought well and for a great cause. Our people can now go back to our homeland and live with their families in peace.

We will too.

Soon.

\- Your dearest husband


	31. Chapter 31

Bilbo,

We never thought our king would tap his feet to the beat of another drum. And we were right.

For it was not beat of a drum he was dancing along to.

It was your heart.

You made him hear the music once more.

\- The Company


	32. Chapter 32

Bofur,

Because of your song, I remember what it feels like to be carefree once more.

Thank you.

\- Bilbo


	33. Chapter 33

Bilbo,

I apologize for not being able to give you the comfort of home in a bowl, not even the assurance of having a full belly.

When we reach Erebor, I shall prepare a feast so grand that you will forget that you ever starved.

\- Bombur


	34. Chapter 34

Bilbo,

I have witnessed your turmoil along our journey back home to the Shire. Your shoulders weighed down by grief, guilt and exhaustion.

You told your nephew that it's all your fault - everything bad that is happening to him and, I'm sure you're thinking, everything bad that has happened to them.

My dear hobbit, it is not.

It is all mine.

I shouldn't have asked you to take one more step beyond the Shire.

I am truly sorry.

I am sorry for everything.

\- Gandalf


	35. Chapter 35

Bombur,

With every bowl you offer me, I always feel at home.

\- Bilbo


	36. Chapter 36

Gandalf,

I have no regrets accepting your invitation.

As it turns out, I was just as unprepared to go back to the Shire.

I was not prepared at all.

\- Bilbo


	37. Chapter 37

Beorn,

You should not have let them leave. Maybe then, they would still be here.

\- Dis


	38. Chapter 38

The Company of Thorin Oakenshield,

I wish I could've helped sooner.

\- Beorn


	39. Chapter 39

Thrain,

My dear son, you have lost me to dragon sickness. You grew up without a father.

Don't make your son go through the same pain.

\- Thror


	40. Chapter 40

Grandfather,

You are a great king.

But I do not with to follow in your footsteps.

I shall follow my own path.

And hopefully become a greater king that you ever were.

\- Thorin


	41. Chapter 41

Thorin,

My son, I have burdened you with the weight of the crown too early. But it is not the crown that weighs you down.

Your whole life you have done nothing but bow down to the kings before you. And you do still - to the ghosts those kings have left behind.

Stop hiding in the shadows of your forefathers.

Take the crown and place it upon your head with pride.

Lead your people with the soul of a king wise beyond his years and a heart of a young prince.

Look up to the youth. They will be the next hope of your people.

Just like you were and are to ours.

\- Your father


	42. Chapter 42

To the princes of Erebor,

You are untainted of the sickness that flows in our veins.

You, the youth, who still sees beauty and hope in a dying and cruel world. You, who will someday lead our people.

Rule well.

Live long.

\- Frerin


	43. Chapter 43

Brother,

Is the reason why you're cold to your nephews is because they remind you of me?

You must learn to see beyond the facade you have placed upon them.

You will lost them faster than you lost me.

\- Frerin


	44. Chapter 44

Frerin,

I don't want to lose anyone in my life anymore.

\- Thorin


	45. Chapter 45

Dis,

I will take care of my nephews. Teach them a thing or two. Some games.

Thorin can play too.

We'll be waiting for you to join us.

\- Frerin


	46. Chapter 46

To the hobbit my brother fancies,

If you only knew what that mithril shirt meant in dwarven customs.

I'll be looking forward to the ceremony.

He'll be smiling brighter than the sun in May.

\- Frerin


	47. Chapter 47

Father,

Where were you when we needed you?

\- Frerin


	48. Chapter 48

My brother and sister,

Thank you for being the parents I had dreamed of having.

\- Frerin


	49. Chapter 49

Grandfather,

You should've stopped when the gold consumed you and changed you into someone we can no longer recognize.

Because of you, Dis lost her brother, Thorin lost his father and you lost your son.

Our bloodline is now a broken one.

Finally, we can live in peace.

\- Frerin


	50. Chapter 50

Cousin,

It's your turn to take care of our people.

Lead them well.

Be the great king we know you are.

\- Frerin


	51. Chapter 51

Thorin,

Dear cousin, I saw you by the cliff with the hobbit. The hobbit whom you told me, betrayed you.

And yet for a hobbit who has forsaken his king, his leader, his friend- he weeps and mourns for your loss far greater than your people.

At that moment, all I saw him give you was love.

Was he too late? I wonder.

Or were you too blinded to see that it was not because of hatred that he betrayed you but because of love.

You were surrounded by the most precious of treasures.

Why did you not treasure it?

\- Dain


	52. Chapter 52

To the Company of Thorin Oakenshield,

You have done my cousin great service and I thank you for that. I shall pay his debts.

However, I ask you, please forgive my cousin for how he treated you.

He has forgotten the word 'love', the feeling of it, because he was deprived of it when he lost those close to him.

All of you never stopped showing it to him. And for that I am forever grateful.

I just wish he had lived long enough for you to accept the love he can offer.

\- Dain


	53. Chapter 53

Thorin,

What flows in your bloodstream does not define you as a king or an uncle. You are far stronger than I ever was.

Fight the raging war within you and you will never have to fight another.

You are a warrior.

\- Thror


	54. Chapter 54

Dis,

Your mother is so proud of who you've become.

Guide the new king of Erebor. He may not want it but he will need your wisdom.

And your care.

We're right here.

\- Thrain


	55. Chapter 55

Dis,

It was a great pain to lose the princes of Erebor. To you, it must be greater- even unbearable.

Please, blame me. Be furious with me. Do not forgive me.

I should've trained them harder or not have trained them at all. I shoud've stepped up to stop them from going to war. I should've been there - right beside them.

I should've died with them.

For what is a life worth living when all those who made you feel worthy, are gone?

\- Dwalin


	56. Chapter 56

Dwalin,

I am proud to have let my sons under your care. You have turned them into great warriors. It was enough for me to know that they died fighting.

A life is still worth living. My sons may need you no longer . . .

But I do.

If you will allow, I will make the rest of your life worth living.

\- Dis


	57. Chapter 57

Dis,

When you arrive at Erebor, I shall not be there. I will travel to Moria to visit distant relatives.

When I find it, I shall inform you immediately.

Take care always.

\- Balin


	58. Chapter 58

Brothers,

I can't stomach the sight of the kingdom. They remind me of Fili and Kili too much. My heart aches at the sight of the jewels they would have no interest in because they know that there are finer things in life.

I shall accompany Balin on his journey.

I shall make meaning of the life I have left and make myself worthy of joining them in the hall of the great kings even if I am not of royal blood.

I will write to you every so often.

Goodbye.

\- Ori


	59. Chapter 59

Smaug,

I wish I understood you and knew how it felt to want the gold so much that it possesses you. Leaves you without a matter in the world.

I have a touch that turns everything into gold, myself included.

No matter how many times I repeat to myself that I am nothing like you or will be nothing like you, I have become who you knew I would be.

And now I've hurt so many people.

I wish I died when you did.

\- Thorin


	60. Chapter 60

Thorin,

Forgiveness became the end of your story when it could've been the beginning.

And yet I couldn't help but to keep loving you.

In this life and the next.

\- Bilbo


End file.
